The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Facebook Friend

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but since when did it become social to be anti-social?

As soon as I'm done ordering my beer, the bartender runs off to check her smartphone to see if I've posted a status update or tweeted about how awesome her service is. As soon as I run out of witty retorts or as soon as I run out props, the people I'm with check their phones because they want to be anywhere else but here.

Is it my fault I'm a prop comic in the tradition of Carrottop and I can only bring so many props in my backpack? Is it my fault I'm not naturally witty and I have to depend on the contents of my European carryall to entertain y'all?

I thought the whole point of all these new-fangled gizmos was to allow people to communicate with other people. What's the point if you're texting someone on the other side of the world about how the Caps will actually show up in the playoffs this year when you could be talking to me about how you're not a bandwagon fan.

Seriously. I'm sitting right next to you.