Monday, January 5, 2015

Life After Summers: Day Four of Infinity

The Indiana Basketball Hoosiers are so embarrassing right now that I want to cry. But instead of wallowing in crimson sorrows, I'm going to pay $59.99 minus a 20% Comcast employee discount for a replay of UFC 182, which I will watch whilst doing multiple loads of laundry and consuming meatloaf sandwiches and Jesus Juice on my couch, all because Summers no longer exists.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Life After Summers: Day One of Infinity

It's Friday night. I'm sitting in my house with two cats and zero humans, scavenge drinking, eating popcorn from the Target snack bar, and watching Guy Fieri skullfuck a boiled pig's head on television. I realize there's never any decent sports on Friday nights in the winter time, but if Summers was still open at least I could watch someone skullfuck a pig's head in person.