Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Madame Joe

Down on Clarendon Avenue. With a childlike vision leaping into view. Clicking, clacking of Sammii's high-heeled shoe. Ford and Fitzroy, Madame Joe. He's much older now with that shirt on drinking coke. And the smell of nasty cigarette smoke comes drifting through. Cool night air like Shalimar. And outside someone is getting in trouble with the cops. Sonny's out in the street collecting bottle tops. Then he goes for cigarettes and matches in the shop. Happy taken Madame Joe. That's when you fall. Whoa, that's when you fall. Fall into a trance. Come to Summers to sit on a sofa playing games of chance. With folded arms and history books you glance. Into the eyes of Madame Joe.

Illegal Similie

Shall I compare Summers to a Summers day? It is not as lovely and a lot smokier.

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Middle Eastern Chauvinist Dude

So I was reading the reviews of Summers on Yelp! the other day (as I am wont to do because I have trouble coming up with my own material and am not above borrowing from others). I came across a review from Jess S that was posted on January 19.

In that review Jess thought it was disgusting that the manager, the owner or whoever that middle eastern chauvinist dude is who is always there would only hire Asian women.

I'm not one to generally stick up for Summers because the service can be very slow, but I thought I would respond.

One, Jess made a comment based on something that was heard. I know the plea will fall on deaf ears, but one should always check facts before making blanket statements and then posting them for others to read. One might also want to give the place a second chance because there are more than legions of Asian that work in Summers.

Two, the owner of whoever that guy is that is always there is Maltan. He's from the Mediterranean, but isn't technically from the Middle East. Might want to tweak your racial profiling database with the additional data.

Three, the owner doesn't just employ females. He's not a total chauvinist.

Sure, the service is slow. Sure, some of the bartenders and wait staff don't speak English. Sure, some of the food can taste microwaved.

But before you label someone a chauvinist based on something you thought you heard you might want to stop, breathe, count to 10 and write a less reactionary review.

Illegal Similie

Summers is like Cheers because everyone knows your name but different because then they forget it and your drink order too.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How do I hate thee

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways. I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height. My soul can reach when feeling Tom Brady is out of sight. For the ends of Belichik and ideal Grace. I hate thee to the level to the level of Ochocinqo's everday need, by sun and by candlelight, I hate thee freely as Men strive for right, I hate thee purely as they turn from Brady's praise. I hate thee with a passion put to use. Hating you. In my old griefs and with childhood's faith I hate the with a hate I seem destined to lose. With the losing Saints, I hate the with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life, and if so God choose I will hate thee better after death.

New Years Resolutions

I know its pretty fucking late to be making new years resolutions, but Santa didn't bring me a new computer for Christmas even though I asked so I had to go out and use all the money I was saving to buy food for the #OccupyDC people to buy a new computer.

Resolution 1 - Save more money. A good start would be not going to Summers every night.

Resolution 2 - Post to this blog more often. I know. I get it. I understand. Joe tries hard and he really means well. But the Mayans says the world is ending in 2012 so f' it. Its now or never and I should really tell Joe what I think of his shitty dive bar, his crappy food and his sub-par service. I know, I know, don't hate the player, hate the game. I don't hate the players. There are some good people at Summers. I do hate the game though. Joe can't treat employees well enough to get them to come into Summers on a week night at even though he has two bars open, he has one bartender.

Resolution 3 - Be nice. I'm just a Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I've been to Summers and danced on the fake hardwood floor. So sometimes I just get caught up in how Joe is running my favorite bar into the ground. I will do more to be nice in 2012.

Resolution 3B - Be more understanding. Summers is great, but Joe doesn't know the first thing about running a business. I need to understand that he doesn't know anything about marketing, customer service, engagement, listening, business or common sense.