Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 7

On the seventh day of December, my true Joe gives to me...

Seven terrible reasons to use blue electrical tape for everything.

(even though it looks tacky and even though blue isn't part of the color palette defined by the Summers brand consultants and even though I really don't get the color blue and even though I'm not an electrician hired to repair Summers 60 non-existent HD televisions and even though I have duct tape and I also have Gorilla glue and I also have Scotch tape and I also have thumb tacks and I also have paper clips and even though I have magnets and even though Joe shouldn't put up posters or advertisements or menus without reading or spell-checking them first he still loves blue electrical tape for some unknown reason)

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 6

On the sixth day of December, my true Joe gave to me...

Six new reasons why he couldn't put seat cushions on the chairs outside.

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 5

On the fifth day of December, my true Joe gave to me...

Five hockey games I didn't even want to watch.

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 4

On the fourth day of December, my true Joe gave to me...

Four more bartenders that don't really know what they're doing.

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 3

On the third day of December, my true Joe gave to me...

Three happy hour specials that aren't happy or special.

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 2

On the second day of December, my true Joe gives to me...

Two beers on the menu that aren't on tap.

Summers Advent Calendar 2015 - Day 1

On the first day of December, my true Joe gives to me...

One Free Wi-Fi.

(that worked for one day one month ago. And it wasn't free because I had to use it inside Summers)

Life After Summers: Day Four of Infinity

The Indiana Basketball Hoosiers are so embarrassing right now that I want to cry. But instead of wallowing in crimson sorrows, I'm going to pay $59.99 minus a 20% Comcast employee discount for a replay of UFC 182, which I will watch whilst doing multiple loads of laundry and consuming meatloaf sandwiches and Jesus Juice on my couch, all because Summers no longer exists.

Life After Summers: Day One of Infinity

It's Friday night. I'm sitting in my house with two cats and zero humans, scavenge drinking, eating popcorn from the Target snack bar, and watching Guy Fieri skullfuck a boiled pig's head on television. I realize there's never any decent sports on Friday nights in the winter time, but if Summers was still open at least I could watch someone skullfuck a pig's head in person.