Sunday, March 26, 2017

2017 Musical Interlude #3 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

John Lee Hooker is just running through a list of everything Summers doesn't have in stock.

John Lee wouldn't have to repeat the chorus over and over if Joe just looked at his inventory and ordered ahead or even thought about what his customers wanted or drank on a regular basis.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

People Watching

One of our main missions here at Slumlog is to make Summers a nicer place to hang so that we and other customers and even random passersby can come and in and enjoy themselves even for a brief period after work before they have to head to a home they would rather avoid, and we do that by calling Joe on his shenanigans and pointing out all the shortcomings of his servers and waitstaff.

But every once in a while w have to sit back and enjoy the glory that is Summers. First, we should appreciate the foot traffic that wanders, saunters, skips, runs, walks, plods, crawls, marches, meanders, bounces, drives, cycles,  hops, bops, clops, drops or struts by Summers.

The people watching at Summers, especially when the weather is good, is amazing.

It is a pity Joe hasn't done more to capitalize on the prime location.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Saint Patrick's Day at Summers

No luck of the Irish here.

No luck for anyone else either. Joe in all his infinite dumbness didn't learn from his mistakes on St. Patrick's Day last when amateur drinks decided to spend the day out and tried to go to Four Courts like everyone else in Arlington and couldn't get in there so they decided to go to the next closet bar which was right across the street and which happens to be Summers.

Summers was packed at peak St. Patrick's Day time and customers had to wait twice or three times as long as normal to get a drink. Joe should have doubled his staff or opened the Red Room.

It was just another day (& another St. Patrick's Day) when Joe proves he doesn't listen, he's incapable of learning from his mistakes and he doesn't really care about the customers that come to Summers.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #12

The big problem at Summers is the service
When I see George working I get nervous
It's not that he's that bad
He's just really sad
And to all the complaints he is impervious

Summers Limericks 2017 - #11

Today we got to see Slog1
After that drink she was done
We gleed
She fleed
And that's how to have fun

Summers Limericks 2017 - #10

It is the start of another March Madness
The total chaos at Summers brings sadness
Joe is unaware
George don't care
Why is there so much epic badness?

Summers Limericks 2017 - #9

It is just one more St. Patrick's Day
When all the amateurs come out to play
They drink like fish
Would leave I wish
All I ask is please get out of my way

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #8

There once was a man from Malta
Thought nothing was ever his faulta
He couldn't spell
Customers did yell
Some threw shakers of salta

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #7

Joe should probably check on Summers' beer tubes
Beer is always warm and could use some  ice cubes
Joe should also check the taps
What the hell happened to Pabst?
At least my beer glass doesn't have pubes

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #6

A customer should never fear
This place will run out of beer
The beer may be warm
And may cause harm
But a new drink is always near

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #5

There's not a single soul alive
Don' t know Summers is a dive
We all know its a hole
There's a lot of rigmarole
Yet Joe still seems to thrive

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #4

Summers always runs out of beer
It is going to hell I hear
I go 'cause its near
My friends often jeer
I should stop going I fear

Friday, March 10, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #3

Summers is a place I used to drink
A place I never used to think
Now it just sucks
I spend a few bucks
Hope I don't end up in the clink

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #2

There once was a man named Jorge
Who couldn't make a drink anyway
He doesn't know spirits
He totally fears its
He's always asking "Porque?"

Monday, March 6, 2017

Summers Limericks 2017 - #1

There once was a manager named Joe
Who thought that he ran the shit show
He really doesn't care
'Cause customers aren't there
Wow, Summers does totally blow

Introducing Summers Limericks 2017

To celebrate Saint Patrick's Day 2017 Summers has not instituted a Limerick Contest. The winner will not be awarded a gift certificate for food or drink at Summers because Joe is stingy, also because this is not an officially-endorsed Summers contest. Those usually end in the prize money being withheld because Joe changed his mind after the fact or because he was disappointed at the poor turnout at one of his events that he forgot about and didn't mention to anyone.

The only reason we are holding this fake limerick contest is because Joe [insert euphemism here: "totally fucked up", "bungled", "completely forgot about", "mismanaged", "didn't give a sh!t about", "failed to remember to mention/advertise", "half-assed", "Monday morning-quarterbacked", "was hoping customers wouldn't notice he's completely dismissed them from his mind", "doesn't care about his customers are thinking and never seizes on any genuine business opportunities like drinking the night before the first day of Lent"] the traditional Mardi Gras Celebration at Summers.

So we need to make Summers great again by having a fake limerick contest.