Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Caps Fans Do Exist

I didn't know that the Caps had any fans left, let alone fans of color. Hell, I've only been back for five games and I'm rusty. I gave the puck away in my own zone and I almost scored an own goal tonight. Despite that, there are still hockey fans in the Washington metropolitan area apparently.

I've only been to Summers once because I heard Jerry Seinfeld watched the Tour De France there once, but I know Clinton Yates is a fan of Summers so check out his piece: http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/im-a-black-hockey-fan-we-do-exist/2012/02/27/gIQAa7MHnR_story.html

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Grinch Who Stole Customers

Every Drinker
Down in Drinker-ville
Liked Happy Hour a lot...

But Joe,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

Joe hated Happy hour! The whole happy hour equation!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Or it could have been that he was getting nervous
Because his deplorable level of customer service
That was making customers insane
While they waited in vain
And it was never quite clear
When they would get they're next beer

But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his turn signal blinkers,
He stood there on Happy hour Eve, hating the inebriated drinkers,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Drinker down in Drinker-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their empty beers!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow will have another happy hour! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Happy Hour from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Q & A With Mike Green

It is one of the privileges of being a bobble head superstar to be able to interview other superstar wannabes. Last Tuesday I was asked to interview the real Mike Green for Craps Extra in the free SExpress. Below are excerpts from our interview:

MGBH: How nice has it been to be back the last few games?

MG: Its been great. I don't actually play defense so its been pretty easy.

MGBH: How do you feel its going so far?

MG: It takes some time. I'm slow. And lazy. I've got to get my timing back and my feel and figure out where I can slack off and someone will still cover for me.

MGBH: What's the greatest hurdle for you to get back into the swing of things?

MG: The biggest hurdle is probably that I can't actually play hockey. The next biggest hurdle is probably that the team sucks this year and that makes me look bad.

MGBH: You know what else makes you look bad? You're talking to a bobble-head version of yourself.

[some mike green comments might have been paraphrased - ed.]