Thursday, February 25, 2016

Summers Lent Calendar - Day 4

On the fourth day of Lent, we're giving up swearing.

At least until we can get that customer another #$%& beer and pour them a real #$%$# shot of Fireball and put their #$#$%^& game on the television they're looking at, I mean how !@##$% hard is it to put the Washington +_+$%** Capitals game on a television they can see? And what the #^#* is with all the bar tabs? Not every #^&%^ customer buys ^&^%$%# Miller Lites. Seriously, what the $#%^&*&%^$ is up with this place? We don't want to point fingers but  we blame @#$% @#$%# W #$^%$ )(*).

Okay. So we're giving up swearing now.

We are !@)%$@ serious this time.

Summers Lent Calendar - Day 3

On the third day of lent, we're giving up sports.

Sports create avarice and ill will amongst all God's children so we're going to stop showing sports.

Sure, it will take some rebranding considering we pretend to be a Sports Bar & Restaurant but it's not like we were going to put your game on one of our 60 HD televisions in the first place.

Summers Lent Calendar - Day 2

On the second day of Lent, we're giving up beer.

Beer is the Devil's work and it makes you slovenly and slothful.

So if we run out of beer or refuse to serve you another one, don't thank the man upstairs, thank the man downstairs in the dungeon.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Summers Lent Calendar - Day 1

On the first day of Lent, we're going to give up serving customers.

Customers are aggravating because they want stuff and ask irrelevant questions like "May I please have another beer?" so in preparation for Easter we are giving up customers for Lent.