Thursday, September 29, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 14, Verse 24

Joe said, "Bartenders of antiquity studied to improve themselves; bartenders today study to do the least amount of work possible."

Book 14, Verse 30

Joe said, "It is not the failure of customers to appreciate your abilities as a bartender that should trouble you, but rather your lack of skills as a bartender."

Book 14, Verse 33

Joe said, "A good bartender is praised for its ability to serve drinks, not for its banter."

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 5, Verse 4

A bartender once asked, "What do you think of me?" Joe said, "You are a vessel." The bartender asked, "What kind of vessel?" Joe said, "A sacrificial vessel."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 16, Verse 10

Joe said, "There are nine things that a Summers customer turns his thought to: to not seeing a bartender when he opens his eyes, to hearing the echo created by his empty glass when he uses his ears, to not looking mad when he has been totally ignored, to appearing respectful when his bartender has forgotten to serve him, to not dropping f bombs when he speaks of the service he has received, to paying his tab when he received service, to seeking advice as when he's too drunk to figure out what is going on, to the consequences when he is enraged, and to what is right at the sight of gain."

Monday, September 26, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 14, Verse 2

Joe said, "A customer who is attached to a particular seat is not worthy of being a customer."

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 8, Verse 9

Joe said, "The common peole can be made to come to Summers but not to understand it."

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 6, Verse 16

Joe said, "You may have the good looks of Sonny, but you will find it difficult to escape unscathed in this bar if you do not, at the same time, have the eloquence of Terry."

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 17, Verse 14

Joe said, "The gossip-mongering rogue Facebook page is the outcast of virtue."

Monday, September 19, 2011

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 4, Verse 26

Sonny once said, "To be importunate with one's customers will mean humiliation. To be importunate with Joe will mean having to retrieve umbrellas in the pouring rain."

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Ugly Owner Joe

I hate the rain and crappy service
And I hate your karaoke DJ too
And I don't like a thing about the food, no no
And I hate the Summers light side too
And I hate everything about you

Joefucius: The Analects

Book 13, Verse 12

Joe said, "Even with a true owner, it is bound to take an entire generation for good service to become a reality at Summers."