The First Day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, Joe gave to me a bartender in a pear tree.

And I wasn't stuck in the pear tree with them so I couldn't get them to serve me a beer (the entire supply of which was hanging from another branch in the pear tree)and they were deathly afraid of heights so I couldn't get them to even come over to talk to me so that I could order a beer. Merry fucking Christmas to me.