59 Theses

59 Things Joe could do better in 2012.

1. Bring back sliders.
2. Bring back trivia night.
3. Get rid of Cap'n Sam.
4. Get rid of Sammii.
5. Get rid of the garbage salad.
6. Get rid of the red lights.
7. Read the customer surveys you distributed.
8. Take the advice those surveys gave you.
9. Get rid of the annoying chick.
10. Play better music.
11. Buy another remote.
12. Bring back free chips and salsa.
13. Extend Happy Hour until 8:15.
14. Have a Foursquare special.
15. Read your Yelp reviews.
16. Read them again.
17. Take that advice.
18. Paint the entire Red Room.
19. Redo the bathrooms.
20. Redo your website.
21. Examine your social footprint.
22. Go green.
23. Listen to your customers.
24. Destroy rogue Facebook pages.
25. Because you don't understand technology.
26. Or your customers.
27. Or what they're saying about your restaurant.
28. Develop a fully stocked bar.
29. Change the decor.
30. Change the management style.
31. Change the happy hour specials.
32. Develop a catch phrase.
33. Have a mascot.
34. Buy a new shirt.
35. Buy some new stools for the bar.
36. Replace the ceiling tiles.
37. Consider replacing the framed pictures.
38. Get a lock for that bathroom door.
39. Install a bell so we can ring for service.
40. Think about your mobile strategy.
41. Bring back the Golden Tee machine.
42. Bring back customers.
43. Institute a mug night.
44. Offer free pretzels.
45. Offer something.
46. Offer free drinks.
47. I meant don't.
48. That would be irresponsible.
49. But you can trust me.
50. But I don't because I lie a lot.
51. I swear.
52. Apropos of nothing, give Shawn a raise.
53. Allow people to watch the games they want.
54. Don't show CNN even thought its an election year.
55. Keep the same specials for a month.
56. Keep the same happy hour specials for two weeks.
57. Because you don't want to keep confusing your customers.
58. Or they will stop showing up to buy beer.
59. Like they're doing these days...