4. Open the Red Room by Martin Luther King Day
5. Open the Red Room by Groundhog Day
6. Open the Red Room in time for Valentine's Day
7. Open the Red Room by President's Day
8. Open the Red Room by St. Patrick's Day
9. Open the Red Room on April Fool's Day
10. Close the Red Room on the day after April Fool's Day
11. Open the Red Room by Mothers' Day
12. Open the Red Room by Memorial Day
13. Open the Red Room by the World Cup
Damn. Joe isn't doing too well on his New Year's Resolutions, but who keeps any of their resolutions? In my defense, I don't own a bar and I'm not in the business of trying to satisfy customers, especially ones that might have become attached to a brand like the Red Room that you spent time & money trying to build.
Ess-Dog is a beer-half-empty kinda dog. A more optimistic (though not necessarily more realistic) view would be that with the concerted help of certain dedicated members of the community, Joe could still conceivably succeed at 10 out of 13 of these resolutions.
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