Monday, October 10, 2011

Ron Jeremy's

so i went to this bar last week. let's call it ron jeremy's.

for the record, i didn't actually go to ron jeremy's. i don't know where he lives. plus, i'm scared of hedgehogs. plus, im intimiated by his masters degree. i am also intimidated by his m.d. (major dongus).

i just happened to go to another bar besides summers and i had to use code so joe didn't want to javelin me because i know how he deals with traitors.

{ring}.... {ring}....

YT: Hello?

MM: Don't be a pussy.

YT: Pardon me?

MM: Don't be a pussy. Just tell Joe you went to another bar because his bar sucks.

YT: His bar doesn't suck.

MM: Now I know you're a pussy. Tell the truth. And be honest.

YT: I will be honest, but I won't be mean.

MM: Don't be a pussy.


Anyway, as I was saying I went to Don Cherry's last week. The biggest differences between Don Cherry's and Ron Jeremy's are that everyone wears clothes in Don Cherry's, Don Cherry's had an actual OTB parlour, I would never ever eat the food at Ron Jeremy's houase, I've never seen Ron Jeremy in a tie or a suit, not that I'm ever seen Ron Jeremy, I mean is he the guy on Monday Night Football?

That's Jaws.

Ron Jaworski. Not Ron Jeremy.

i feel like an idiot. i can't tell the difference between a porn star and an NFL quaterback, but i still know the difference between Don Cherry's and Summers.

Don Cherry's had bartenders that refilled your drink before it was empty. Don Cherry's had all their televisions on and they were all showing sports (except for the one tv showing election coverage results, but who cares about elections). Don Cherry's had edible food. Don Cherry's showed CFL (not NFL, but its still football (and i dont mean stupid british futbol (use the right word for christ's sakes (its soccer))))(but at least it was football). And Don Cherry sure as hell dresses a hell of a lot finer than Joe ever has or ever will.

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