The Twelve Labours of Joeakles

In honour of Labour Day (albeit a little late), I've compiled a list of the top twelve labours that Joe should undertake before the next Labour Day

1. Slay the Peroni Special Lion.
2. Slay the 9-headed Lernean Mya.
3. Capture the Golden First Soprano of Artemis.
4. Capture the Kareokian Bore.
5. Clean the Summers bathrooms in a single day.
6. Slay the satelite provider that doesn't put my game on television.
7. Capture the Calgarian Bull.
8. Steal the mares of Donniedes.
9. Obtain the ascot of the Amazon queen.
10. Obtain the cattle of the monster Fazio.
11. Steal the Apple iphones from the store down the street.
12. Capture and bring back a good bartender.