My mind lives in the gutter. It prefers the gutter to what's actually going on inside my head and I don't blame it. But having been down in the gutter so god damn long, everything sure looks like up to me. My mind takes something a little bit country and makes it a little bit rock and roll and what beautiful soliloquy someone speaks I take and twist into something tawdry and terrible.
Not everything is dirty and not everything has sexual overtones. It should, and my shy schoolboy side says it does, but it doesn't. Nonetheless my repressed soft white underbelly segues something sweet and pure and turns it into something dirty and disgusting. Below are a handful of comments that upon first hearing I assumed were vague expressions for sex, but upon a second reading, may not be.
1. Joe's in the basement.
2. Can I get a Red-Headed Slut?
3. Who wants to chug?
4. Is Yuengling still on special?
5. Are you watching this?
6. Can you plug this in for me?
7. Give me some sugar.
8. The front is open, but the back is closed.
9. Joe went downstairs.
10. That door doesn't lock.
11. Go around to the other side.
12. Can you put it on for me?
13. Who's up next?
14. Why is this sign by the back door?