Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Great Canadian Pick Up Lines

Obviously, the greatest Canadian pick up line is a case of Molson Canadian, or a Two-Four as we call it in Canada. Don't worry, you wouldn't understand. Two-Four is a measurement of the metric system.

Entre Nous: They're actually serving Molson Canadian on Molson Candian night again, which is a welcome relief considering it hadn't been available for three weeks.

But I digress. The latest Molson Canadian gimmick is to offer great Canadian pick up lines on the back label. "I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's Cuddle." is a good one, but "I'm a man who drinks beer from an Awesome Land. Need I say more?" is even better, but I was too drunk to take a good picture because I was about six Canadians in at this point celebrating its long overdue return. The irony is that whenever I'm in Canada picking up hotties, the most successful pickup line I have is "I'm American."

Perhaps most riveting and yet most haunting about the entire episode is that despite the return of Molson Canadian and despite the fact that it was a happy hump day, Summers was deader than my love life.

I'm cold just thinking about how empty the red room is. Let's Cuddle.

18 comments:

  1. Ess-Dog, I thought you'd never ask. Let me just put down this bucket and rinse off my latex gloves...

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  2. Fantastic picture of the Moldy Tiles. Really captures the spirit of the place with the shady cameras and haphazardly painted walls. Truly haunting, if not terrifying.

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  3. Speaking of picking up, Hey Sonny - somebody fell out of their wheelchair again in the Red Room lavatory. Can you see to it, please? This'll give you a good chance to test out that new harness you rigged up in there. But watch your back because the other day there was some leather-clad stranger at the bar asking what the deal is with the "hot lookin' pulley toy" and mentioned, since there's no lock on the door, that "anyone could just walk right in."

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  4. Is that a moose antler in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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  5. Nice beaver pelt.

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  6. Would you care for some poutine?

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  7. Your nice beaver pelt all over my sheets.

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  8. Come sit next to me on the chesterfield baby.

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  9. There's a reason they call me the Great One.

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  10. You know, mine cuts like a knife.

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  11. Your future's so bright, I've gotta wear shades.

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  12. Did you know you can wash your clothes on my washboard abs?

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  13. Hey there Sk8r boi.

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  14. Is that a beaver on my head?

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  15. Do these leiderhosen make my weinerschnitzel look big?

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  16. Stop. Hey, what's that sound? Everybody look, my pants are going down.

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  17. 1234, what's up Summers new door? Did Sonny just buff the doorstoop or are you really happy to see me?

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  18. A Bottle of Molson CanadainMarch 16, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    When faced with a cold climate there's no substitute for body heat.

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