Sunday, March 13, 2011

Slummers Inferno - Seventh Circle

The entrance to the seventh circle is guarded by the Myataur.

If you did not know that the enterance to Hell was guarded by the Myataur, you've either never read your Robert Graves or you've never read Harry Potter which features the Myataur and her maze in book four. The Myataur is not the worst bartender Joe has ever had, but she's pretty bad. She doesn't actually look like a bull, but her horns tear the concept of customer service to shreds.

It should also be no surprise that the violent are housed in the seventh circle of Summers hell. Here are the the patrons that knock over all the barstools,. Here too are the patrons that a hole in the wall because someone questions your ability as a husband

Here also are house the patrons that try and walk through the kitchen because they've had twelve beers already and you don't want to pay $10 to see the UFC fight because you keep this bar afloat during the week between UFC fights and you don't feel you should pay the cover charge.

Vampire Joe sucks your blood and your money and your goodwill and your patience because he won't put your game on the tv even though Summers is a sports bar and he staffs his bar with completely incompetent nincompoops and you feel that entitles you to a free pass through the kitchen and you know it is your right, you shall find yourself in this circle of Summers hell.


  1. I love walking through old timey saloon doors like a former Olympian turned bar owner who is surveying one of Arlington's hottest Salsa clubs... and if there are some fries to be had on the way, then so be it. Don't think that qualifies as Seventh Circle however.

  2. Dear Moldy Tiles:

    Read your Bible, then come talk to me. I'll send you back to read Dante as well, and then send you back again to read it in the original Italian, and then after that I might accept your interpretation on what is Seventh Circle and what is not. Until then, I appreciate the post and the feedback, but you might want to read the book first.