Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Schweinsteiger bein ein ScheiBkerl

What the hell is up with German soccer fans?

I don't want to get off on another rant here, but then again, I haven't invaded Poland or the Sudetendland recently so maybe I don't understand. Where does the attitude come from? It is not like Germany has won a World Cup recently, so where do German soccer fans get off acting like supercilious Yankee fans? Or bottom-feeding Super Bowl-stealing New York Giants fans?

And yes, I mean you Mr. Fazio.

Winning a game by a goal doesn't mean anything Germany (except when you're the US and you suck at soccer and you only advance by a one goal victory in extra time no less), so unless Jurgen Klinsman comes on television and kicks the scheiB out of John Harkes, keinen wein mehr!


  1. Guten tag. I'll just go ahead and ask what is on everyone's mind.... What is up with Germans? History aside, it is entertaining to watch these bratwurst eating, blitzkriegin' beefcakes speed down the Arlington roads in their Wolfsburg Jettas with their candy corn flags flying in precision V-patterns prior to World Cup games. Nein, it is awesome.

  2. I think you finally disintegrated enough to fall from the ceiling and hit the rusty nail on the head, Moldy. I hate to love those Germans, and I love to hate them. So many German things are undeniably wonderful, yet all it takes is one glance at a lineup of bratwurst ass cheeks wrapped in their nation's flag, or a quick listen to that horribly creepy and soulless ethnic pop chants to make somebody who's otherwise indifferent consider supporting those pale, tragic, dentally-challenged Brits.

  3. Hey Essholoe-Dog, come here and say that to my face. I used to be a Texas State trooper and I had to put up with bullshit from bitchy little punks like you when I was arresting dope smugglers in Texas or when I was the door manger at Harry's Tap Room and I had to kung fu drunken frat punks like you.

  4. I judge countries (and believe me, from my eye-in-the-sky view, I see a lot of them) by a variety of ways... amount of beautiful people, automobiles that scream "I'm better than you", fatty foods, history, ability to win in a real-life Risk game, and the most important, overwhelming domination in sports.

    Obviously, the USA wins hands down - no question there.

    But in a Germany vs England comparison... I am going to have to say England. Black Forest cake is gross - enough with the cherries, seriously. Mercedes is a poor man's Aston Martin. And just one Claudia Schiffer can't make up for the legions of beautiful Brits like Jude Law and Colin Firth.

    I will have to go with England over Germany in the World Cup.

  5. You forgot about Hugh Grant.

  6. Hugh - I wish I could forget about "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" but I can't. You sir, are on notice.