The most depressing thing about celebrating Festivus at Summers is that the grievances are always the same, year after year, and still Joe doesn't listen.
Grievance 1 - Get new bartenders. I know you're under the gun and want to hire people in this country without a visa so you don't have to pay them so the IRS won't catch up with you, but I'm not even asking for someone that speaks English, I just want someone that can actually serve me beer, and servce me the beer that I ordered, and serve me the beer that I order in a resonable time window.
Grievance 2 - Get a new marketing plan. Nobody knows nothing about anything, and I don't know the first thing about anything that's going on at Summers until I walk into the Red Room and make it all they way to the back of the smoke-filled space and find the one sign that's been posted letting people know about new specials.
Grievance 3 - Get a new PR firm. I know PR and marketing are kinda the same thing but the PR firm is supposed to put the marketing plan into action and so far whatever marketing plan you've been using has been implemented worse than the Schlieffen plan and even then Germany was able to win a few battles. Joe has won no battles save the battle to drive customers away and make less work for his staff.
Grievance 4 - Do something with the Red Room. I understand the Red Room branding concept, but its not even red really. Painting it red and green in the back corner makes the customers that are already light-headed from the smoke and the smell of Mya's prefume, it makes them nauseous. Finish the fucking job for once.
Grievance 5 - Get rid of the Canadians. They're annoying and not funny.
Now that we're done with the airing of grievances, can we have the feats of strength?
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