Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Top 10 Reasons why Summers is better than Verizon Center

10. Beer is cheaper in Virginia.

9. Summers has bathrooms and I don't have to wait in line.

8. Mike Green never shows up at Summers.

7. I can watch other games besides the Caps as Summers.

6. I won't get hit in the head by a puck at Summers.

5. Summers has no Red Rockers cheerleaders.

4. Summers shows no Tom Green clips (canadians aren't funny!).

3. There are no Caps fans, bandwagon or otherwise, at Summers.

2. People who watch hockey at Summers know what a penalty is.

1. No disrepect to Mr. Christopher Walken (please don't kill me), but there are times when you really don't need more cowbell. If Caps fans knew anything about hockey or anything about music, they would know that cowbells have no place at hockey games. We are in Washington DC for Christ's sake, its not like we're watching hockey in Minnesota where we're all farmers and the only date we could get to the hockey game was the neighbor's cow in the next pasture and even then a cowbell would give away the fact that you brought a cow as a date to the hockey game and how patethic is that I mean not that I have anything against anyone from Minnesota or anyone living in Minnesota or playing for the Minnesota Vikings or OH MY God is it just me or can I get on with my life now that the Brett Favre saga is over and not that it is over because its not over until its over and I can't wait for more details on the Favre sexting scandal because its been almost a year since the Tiger Woods sexting scandal broke and you can't go an entire year without tarnishing one of your sports heroes whom you had previously placed on a pedestal and not that I ever but Brett Favre on a pedestal but he really was more palatable than Kurt Warner who bagged groceries for a living before coming to the NFL and who the hell bags groceries for a living anymore what with Peapod or bagging your own fucking groceries for crying out loud and what is this country coming to where a person is so fucking lazy that they can't pick up their quart of milk or loaf of bread off the end of the conveyor belt and put it in the bag that was so kindly provided for them even though they should have brought their own bag just to save the environment and ease the burden on others and ease the burden on future generations but what do DC-area bandwagon Caps fans know about future generations because they're already clamoring for Ovechkin's head and Leonsis's head before the halfway point of the season which just goes to show you again that Caps fans know nothing about hockey because it is not even close to playoff time for Christ's sake and everyone and their grandmother is already circling the wagaons which is why I hate Caps fans and hate the Verizon Center crowd because it is the same people that think that they can rattle a fucking cowbell in my ear and spur their team on to greatness that think they are true hockey fans and that's just not going to be the case at Summers because people and patrons at Summers always keep it real.

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