Sunday, October 17, 2010

Dazed and Confused

What is it about watching football in public that turns people into idiots? I was in CVS after the early NFL games and I felt like I was in a remake of Night of the Living Dead as I tried to dodge flesh-eating undead creatures while I tried to buy deoderant. I hadn't showered since Friday morning before work but the smell of their rotting flesh was more offensive.

I saw countless slack-jawed glassy-eyed dazed & confused automatons in footballs jerseys wandering the aisles of CVS as they tried to find that one item on sale that would fill the hole in their heart after their team lost the game because their rookie quarterback forgot how to throw a football after he signed his mega-long-term contract or as they tried to find the sustinence to fill the bottomless pit that was their stomach but is now the center for their desire for human flesh.

To save the human race, go straight home after the game if you watch football in public.

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