Thursday, January 6, 2011

Highlights & Lowlights: 2010 Edition

1. One of my favorite hightlights of the year was when Joe told Mya and unsuspecting patrons that one of the servers was pregnant. Good times. Awkward times but good times.

2. Obviously another highlight was the opening of the Red Room.

3. A definite lowlight was the disappearance of the Peroni Special signs. Who knew the beer was even on special unless you were behind the bar crouched down trying to get your cell phone out of the cabinet under the cash register?

4. The World Cup haikus were a definite highlight.

5. Vuvuzelas were a definite lowlight.

6. But I really like saying vuvuzela, say it vu-vu-zela, it just kind of rolls off the tongue so vuvuzelas just about broke even in 2010 I think.

7. Flyers fans were also a definite highlight as the flags and the crazy fans and sparkly fists gave us Slumloggers endless fodder.

8. This should have probably been paired with the unveiling of the Redrum, but the appearance of Summers New Door was another 2010 highlight. I walked right fucking into it the first time because I didn't actually expect a door to be there, but it was a welcome addition and kept those tree-hugging granola-chrunchers from the dark side of the moon and the resulting brain damage.

9. The zesty wings were another highlight. As a matter of fact the entire Summers menu was a huge hit in 2010.

10. Okay so the previous item was a complete exageration.

11. That one time I saw Donnie was a major highlight.

12. The end of the Bedazzler series of youtube videos was a definite lowlight. Summers doesn't have any weird, unusual or quirky patrons so when a bedazzled crazy mofo shows up and starts ranting about Summers, you milk that cash cow until its nipples are chafed.

13. Its like having the 13th floor in a hotel, there's nothing here for fear of some stupid superstition.

14. Salsa Night.

15. The hyperactivity of all the Capitals and Redskins fans hopping on and off and back on and then back off and then putting one foot on and then pulling it back off and then jumping on and then jumping back off and then jumping back on the bandwagon and saying they had been there the whole time happened so often its both a highlight and a lowlight.


  1. While I agree with most of your highlights and lowlights, you neglected to mention the most engaging and perhaps least haunting event of 2010... the Oregon Ducks going 12-0 and heading the BCS Championship. For those lucky enough to be at Summers throughout the season, it was definitely a highlight.

  2. Wait, yo. So is Salsa Night like a Highlight or a Lowlight? Seems like a Highlight to me, man, gnome sane, cuz? Like JCB cold tore it up from the floor it up, yo!

  3. JCBY:

    If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it. And you my friend are no Lance Bass and can't afford a personal trip to the moon.

  4. Heh heh. He said Bedazzler.