I went to Saskatooine and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
On my way through the Arkanis sector of the outer rim territories in my Metrollineum Falcon, I stopped into the Mya Eisley canteen.
I had a debt to Joe the Hutt I had to pay off so I figured I would try and exchange my two droids, R2-DGino and Chris3-PO, for my life. Unfortunately, that traitor Clinton Calrissian sold me out to the bounty-hunter Ooomba Fett before I could complete the transaction.
I had to flee into the desert of Saskatooine, which is flatter than Saskatchewan and drier than Tatooine, and where there is no building over seven stories and I know because I ran into old Chad Kenobi as he used the force to sneak up on me and he had to show me pictures on his 3G-light sabre tablet from Verizon.
After he taught me the ways of the force and he taught me about twoonies and how flat Saskatooine is, we were waylaid by the Saskatooine people and their giant Reginas.
Which is rough, if you know what a Regina is.